• Charles H Coutts

Random Thoughts... I'm Offended

You know, just like everyone else, I hear and see things that I do not particularly like, they offend me. Especially lately.

Every single walking talking human DNA strand experiences this sensation on a daily basis. But we do not however all respond to that sensation in the same way. I think in the interest of fairness we can all agree that for the most part each of these can be categorized into two groups.

Determining which group we each belong to is as simple as answering a question. Being honest enough with ourselves to answer that question is the hard part because unless we are brutally honest, nothing changes.

Since we have established that every person on earth experiences getting offended by things that we see or hear, we can zip right on through that moment because we all already know what it feels like, don't we?

That brings us to decision time, and this decision or choice will define what group we call home.

It does not really matter what the issue may have been that offended us, to begin with now, so spending time on that would be a distraction because we have already moved past that point and are now offended, why is irrelevant.

So what do we do about it?

There are in truth only two basic choices that we can make in this situation.

We can choose to bitch about it for a day or two to make ourselves feel better and then we get the hell over it and get on with our lives. We don't forget about it though if it was serious because if we ever get the chance to work it into a conversation we will, even if it is years later. But for most things, we just get over it by morning.


We can choose to start bitching about it and never stop. We never let it go and get over it. That being the case every other thing that offends us will start piling up and creating its own stress and anxiety until it serves only to exacerbate the situation even more. It becomes a never-ending cycle of madness leading to nihilism and despair.

Being offended is a natural reflexive action to being wronged in some way and it is not something that we can control.

Staying offended, and letting it take over our lives, is a choice. We have the option to get over it and move on so we choose to do the opposite. And that means that we ourselves are the only people to blame for whatever comes out of our making that choice.

Good or bad.

I personally, belong to the first group. During my 54 years of hearing and seeing things that offended me, I learned pretty quickly that hanging onto all of that anger makes for a rather bleak outlook on life which of course translates into a rather joyless life, to put it mildly. I was miserable, and I made everyone else around me miserable. Until I decided that I did not want to live like that anymore and I changed it. Right along with changing all kinds of other negative and self-destructive behaviors and habits. I literally changed everything about myself and once all of that baggage was gone I began to reinvent myself based on my brand new "glass is half full" attitude adjustment.

It wasn't a cakewalk by any means but I stuck with it and eventually, I figured out that if all you look for is the worst in everything then the worst is all you are going to find. On the flip side, if you go looking for the good in things then the good is what you will find.

It truly makes one ponder why anyone would choose the former over the latter, does it not? But we know for certain that they do. We see them every day splashed across our screens and newspapers. In all fairness though thinking back, I can not pinpoint exactly when I fell into that trap, it just kinda happened. I remember precisely the moment I extracted my cranium from my posterior, grew up, and made some life changes though. I think many other people just need to reach that moment of clarity.

This is why I said earlier that the hardest part of all of this will be being honest enough with ourselves to let that happen.

Are we the ones who get over it and move on, or are we the ones who hold never-ending grudges for perceived wrongs? Real or imagined.

We all get offended so what really matters is how we deal with it

The choice is always ours so just keep one thing in mind.

Happiness is always an option, we just have to choose it.

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